Sitting at the sea side and watching the sunset with the feel of the cold sea breeze always spreads peace in me. Today was another such day when I was vulnerable from inside so went to the sea side in search of peace. Setting sun is always a beautiful scene and takes me to its own another world, today I went to the world of nostalgia. All those days of my life when I was carefree, without any responsibilities, at home with my family and friends, were flashing at me. Life seems so unpredictable, six years back I didn't even had an idea about today (no one has).
I am a small town guy who was very carefree at the school level, was a confused soul without having an idea of the real world. It was 2002 when I finished my school with Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Computer science with a peer driven aim of becoming a software engineer. One day my dad brought a college admission form where I was suggested to tick the box of B.Tech in Biotechnology as dad read and heard about the upcoming biotech boom. First 2 years was a sine wave with absolute maxima and absolute minima though I took them lightly. After 4 years of study and fun, I was confused of what to do next, whether to do MBA that most of my friends were doing or go for M.Tech that my parents wanted. I wanted to go abroad as encouraged by my cousin settled in the US. Obviously I was/am a confused soul. I applied for passport and took the TOEFL exam. By the time I got my passport and the TOEFL score it was 1 year now I applied for Higher studies in Sweden to Uppsala University for Masters in Science in Applied Biotechnology and in 3-4 months I received an acceptance letter. The tution fee was free but I needed to pay for my living in Sweden, thus started the struggle for life and pride. Somehow the required amount was collected and I applied for the visa. It took another 2 months to get an answer from the swedish embassy this made me more nervous, anxious and was becoming short tempered.
Finally one happy day just 5 days before the course starts, I received a call from embassy that I can get my visa stamped. A month's work was done in those last 4 days, shopping and packing in 3 days and the last day for stamping the visa and booking the flight. Finally on 27th of Aug 2008, at 4.30am I was at Indira Gandhi International airport, Delhi with my parents and sister to set off for another long and lonely journey. This was the first time I saw an airport let alone boarding a flight. This was the first time I was going away from my family and that too changing the whole continent. It was time to say goodbye to my loved ones and was time to see the world. It was the weakest moment of my life I was somehow holding my tears as I knew I need to portray myself strong to support those standing and waving behind the glass doors. Whenever I think of that moment my eyes wells up, even now.
I was more nervous than being happy and excited. Nervous to travel to another time zone of the world, nervous to go to a country that was completely different including the language and most of all nervous to do this all alone. While in the check-in queue I discovered that my Air-India flight was late by 3 hours and this would have resulted in missing the connecting flight in Frankfurt. So went up to the Air-India officer with the problem who changed my connecting flight from Lufthansa to SAS. Just after security check I called my parents to inform them that I was fine and that I was waiting for the flight that got delayed. My dad was awake and was sounding upset. After much of waiting it was time for boarding and for the first time I was in an airplane. Soon I was in the air flying over the continent and sea, after a transit of 2 hours in Frankfurt I was over the Scandinavian land. The view from the plane through the clouds was amazing patches of houses in greenery with patches of lakes spread all around. I couldn't have ever dreamt of such a tranquillity, satisfaction and gratitude running through me. Around 8.30pm I landed in Arlanda airport, after immigration check and luggage collection I changed my dollars to swedish kronars and went out of the airport with a bus ticket to Uppsala.
I was in Uppsala at 10.30pm of 27th Aug 2008, I was asked to meet someone at the fountain in front of the railway station. I didn't have to wait much to meet a girl who took me to Flogsta (the student housing) where the university booked the room for me. It was 10.30pm and drizzling when I got off the bus with my luggage to experience a new student life among all the students from all over the globe. The student housing comprised of 7 buildings that has 7 floors and each floor has 2 corridors and each corridor is made of 12 student rooms, a common kitchen and a TV room. So in all there were around 1200 international students.
Gradually I made friends and started enjoying this new life full of adrenaline. Always busy in either studies, assignments or parties parties and Parties as if I was young forever. I have some wonderful memories from Sweden. Some great travels in Europe were made from there. When I was about to finish my masters I started applying for PhD positions in Europe as I was not yet ready to leave this part of the earth and I met Silvia Onesti (my prof here) in a conference thus I am here in Trieste, Italy doing my PhD in Molecular Biomedicine from University of Trieste.
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| My Parents |
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| My beloved Sis |
I have and am going through struggle everyday, everyday teaches me a lesson. When I was in India, I was not what I am today, I am self-dependent, confident, enthusiastic, broad-minded and a person with high achievement level. I can now see things very differently than what I used to. All this I became after leaving my home, my parents, my country. But still I miss the most is my place, my home, my parents, my sis and most of all 'the little me' who didn't know that a real cruel big world exists outside the boundaries of my small happy world. Everyone always talks about and gets fascinated by the far-fetched green colour of the grass but things are not as they look like. Although an independent life is very important to learn more about life, to grow into a better human, the moments with parents that usually teenagers detest these days are the days that makes you cry when you leave them. No other place is as calm and comfortable as mums lap and no other place is as safe and relaxed as dads arms. So enjoy those moments that you have now with your loved ones and be prepared for the open hostile world.
P.S. - I don't know if anyone will ever read it completely and even if someone does I am not sure that I will be able to convey the churn of emotions happening inside me completely to the person unless that person has gone through the same situations in life.
